Jaan-e-Mann

Let me clarify before I start with this review; that I had gone with zero expectations for this movie. I was expecting a rehash of Mujhse Shaadi Karogi which I had hated.
The movie commenced and I got a few thrills from the stylish and non-traditional execution of scenes by debutant director Shirish Kunder.

Story in brief
Suhan (Salman Khan) receives a notice for paying alimony and is supposed to shell out Rs. 50 lacs to his wife Piya (Preity Zinta), who lives in NY. His Chachu (Anupam Kher) is a lawyer, and they both start thinking of ways to avoid the payment, especially since Salman is penniless.

This is when Agastya Rao (Akshay Kumar, trying hard to look the role of a geek and failing); a NASA astronaut; comes over, searching for Preity. Grumble grumble... why does the picture of a geek always evoke spectacles for any storyteller.
He was a bespectacled guy with teeth braces in his college days, and was madly in love with Preity. But she was infatuated with Salman, and eloped with him (Akshay doesn't know that Salman is the guy she married).

To escape paying alimony; Salman and Anupam come up with an idea. They decide to help Akshay woo Preity and get her to marry him. Salman has to hide himself from Preity while coaching Akshay; which results in a quite a few funny situations. A few scenes inspired from Addicted to Love are put in to get a cute quotient.

A melodramatic pre-climax has just about taken your patience away when the funny climax makes you forgive the writer/director.

Technicians
The first half of the movie has some great visuals and loads of gimmicks. In the second half, the scene transitions get in to the normal movie mode. That's not to say the gimmicks are not enjoyable. Quite a few of them leave a smile on your lips; a kind of kind of smile.How creative of the director. The first half an hour almost seems a tribute to Chicago.
Shirish Kunder ends up editing the movie too, and must say he does not measure up to his standards of direction and writing (script as well as dialogues).
Most of the songs are brought in in a non-offensive manner, which is great. They also usually help move the story forward.

Cast
It's Salman's show all the way as he is the focal point of the story. He has the maximum scenes, and for once, he doesn't grate on your nerves. Akshay Kumar does a mediocre job, and he hardly has any memorable lines except for his distinctive laughter.
Preity Zinta does a decent job.
Aman Verma has a funny role where he ends up being the butt of all jokes.

Trivia

1. Shirish Kunder was known as the Mercedeswaala editor in his Editor days because he was the only editor who drove a Mercedes to work.
2. Farah Khan gave the producer Sajid Nadiadwala a one line narration on behalf of Shirish during a completion party for Farah's Main Hoon Na.
3. Before becoming an editor, Shirish worked as an Electronics Engineer with Motorola.
4. Sajid Nadiadwala, the producer, launched the music of this movie on September 9, which happens to be Akshay Kumar's birthday. Two years before; he had released his previous movie Mujhse Shaadi Karogi on September 9th.
5. The shooting for the movie was postponed a number of times. The first time it was done due to the Salman-Aishwarya Rai tapes controversy, in which Salman had supposedly mentioned Preity's name in derogatory terms. The second time it was due to Salman's hair-weaving job going haywire; after which he had to shave his head to recover from it.

Opinion
Definitely worth a watch. A good time-pass movie.

DON

I was finally shaken up out of my lethargy to post a review of a movie I consider the biggest disappointment of this year.

Farhan Akhtar, who did a brilliant job in Dil Chahta Hai and Lakshya has been one of my most favorite directors and storytellers. Though I am not a fan of SRK, one cannot deny that he has a huge following and can carry off arrogance really well.

With the two of them coming together, and the taut script of DON to help, I had little doubt in the success of the venture. My only misgivings were regarding the choice of film, as DON was hardly in need of a makeover. The original movie is still contemporary, unlike other Amitabh movies like Zanjeer or Adalat. Sholay; for that matter is not contemporary, but you don't fiddle such a huge movie, period (Especially RGV, who has been kidnapped and substituted by an impostor who has become a quote factory for the media, rather than a movie factory).

Coming back to the new version of DON; we have SRK preening for the first half an hour, mumbling and butchering all the punch lines from the original.
Chunky Pandey has a cameo, but exits too soon to provide any value to the movie.

We have a cop Boman Irani doing a Flash based presentation for unenthused Malaysian cops where he gives a hodge-podge description of an entire gang of drug pushers.

Kareena does her dance routine with Yeh Mera Dil to entrap SRK, trying to ooze oomph. She succeeds to an extent, but also shows oozing fat out from her short dress.


For the next half hour, SRK moves around trying to push dope like a street peddler as opposed to the high profile goon he is supposed to be.

Boman Irani is hot on his trail, and finally manages to ensnare DON.
Here is where Farhan Akhtar the scriptwriter makes his first mistake. Instead of faithfully copying the original, he tries to show some originality and goofs up big time in tying the ends till the climax.

You have cops who double up as mafia dons, some FACE OFF and CON AIR inspiration and inanities galore.
No doubt the entire execution is pretty slick in terms of visuals; but the story lacks soul. There are no genuine emotions, nor do you feel for any of the cardboard characters. All you can hope for is a quick end to the stupid farce being played out.

Arjun Rampal steps in for one of his worst performances from a threadbare repertoire, and hams full-time.
Priyanka Chopra and Isha Koppiker have roles of less significance than the one played by Rajpal Yadav in Jungle.

Pawan Malhotra does a decent job as DON's henchman, but is criminally neglected.
All the songs except Yeh Mera Dil come as interruptions, and can be easily cut without affecting the end product.

If the original DON had been re-released on the same weekend as this remake; it would have made a killing, and shown this one as the farce it is.